OHHH, MEXICO (*also titled: melissa's gratuitous complaining)

Warning: It's a long one.  Maybe it's because it's a new year and people tend to reflect during this time, but I have been doing quite a few wordy introspective posts in between the regularly scheduled visual inspiration pieces in 2012.  You guys will have to let me know what you think, because the last thing I want is for you to be so bored with these lengthy ruminations that you fall asleep mid-post and get drool all over your pretty little laptops.  I guess I've just been in the mood to share my thoughts.  You guys are just so awesome that I feel comfortable doing so, and that rocks.  xo, m

In less two weeks, I'm heading to Mexico for a week with the husband's band.  They play a music festival every winter that takes place down there (and Jamaica, in years previous to 2011).  And although he and the boys have to work for much of it, it's an awfully nice break from the midwest winter for us wives and girlfriends who tag along.  That said, I could sit here and tell you guys how overwhelmingly excited I am.  I could go on and on about all the cute little summer dresses I'm going to pack and how much I'm looking forward to fun in the sun and all that.  In theory, I probably should go that route, because who wants to put their feet up with a nice hot cup of tea and read a blog brimming with unnecessary whining?  I really do prefer to stick to blogging about positive things, because in the end, focusing on the positive is the best way to live. I also like to think of Bubby and Bean as a special place where people can come and get inspired and leave feeling motivated and cheerful.  I must be feeling a little sassy today though, because instead of being all glass-half-full, I'm just going to be honest, and cross my fingers that I don't come off as a brat.  Because I'm not a brat, I promise.  Except when I have a migraine or the temperature drops below 20 or I'm stuck in traffic on I-90 at rush hour or I catch someone littering.  But other than that, I think I'm a pretty grateful person who is lucky to have, for the most part, a really awesome life.   

So here's the truth.  Even though I am warm weather's #1 fan, I'd rather skip this trip completely, kidnap Robbie from work, and go hibernate in a cabin for a weekend.  Or even take a long day trip, just the two of us, to go antiquing or something equally boring to most people.  I'd even happily settle for a staycation with blankets, fondue and movie marathons.  Don't get me wrong - I very much appreciate that I have the opportunity to accompany my husband to a resort in the Caribbean.  I'm just not feeling as enthusiastic about it as I should be feeling. 

I can't quite pinpoint any one reason for this aloofness.  I do know that I'm a little sad about the reason for which I'm able to go on this trip in the first place.  I was supposed to sit this year out to take care of Bubby dog, and when he passed away, we managed to find a last minute flight and squeeze me in.  This isn't the main reason for my lack of excitement though, because Bubby was pretty much the happiest creature that ever lived, and I know he'd be psyched that mom was getting away to somewhere so sunshine-y after having to say goodbye to him.  Maybe it's partly the fact that it's another work trip (albeit a very cool one), and deep down I know that it's technically an obligation rather than a choice.  I'm very lucky in that I've been able to travel to some seriously incredible places (hello Australia and France!) because of Robbie's job.  But for me, the most amazing trip I could possibly take at this point would be pretty much anywhere, as long as it was just the two of us.  Keep in mind, we spend six months out of the year apart, and almost every holiday is spent either together at his work, or apart. We've been together for over 5 years, and have never had a "normal" trip or vacation together.  (Side note:  I know a lot of people don't get to take vacations at all. We're both wanderlusters though, and travel was a huge part of lives even before we met, so it's really important to us.  Add to this the whole half-the-year apart thing, and it would be extra appreciated to get spend some of the time we do have together doing something we both enjoy so much. Just sayin'.)  We didn't go on a honeymoon because his work schedule was too crazy, and we wanted to save money, and we didn't want to leave Bubby alone.  And that's okay.  But when I wish upon shooting stars or blow out birthday candles, I always hope for a little downtime with my favorite boy away from our house, doing something simply because we enjoy it - for us.

I guess if I really had to identify one main cause for my indifferent attitude, it would be my very strong desire to go somewhere where I could actually relax.  I'd do just about anything to get away to somewhere simple, and peaceful, and quiet, and good for the soul.  It sounds easy, I know, but things are a little more complicated when you factor in our abnormal work schedules.  (What's a weekend?)  I daydream about sitting on a porch swing with Robbie, easing our weary minds through silence and wine and good food and books.  You know - just a modest little vaca with no late night work schedules, no large groups of people around at all times, no music 'til the sun comes up, and no screaming drunk people barfing off balconies at 4 AM.  (Please do not be offended, fans of the band and/or festival goers who may be reading this.  I was once a young, barfing music fan too, and we want you to have the best time ever, I swear.). 

Maybe I'm just getting old.

Regardless of the reason, I'm going, and I know that I'll have a good time.  (Venting to my readers through sarcasm and attempts at humor helped; thanks guys!).  I may be sick of only getting to leave this city these days if it's to accompany my husband to his job, and I may be sad about why I'm able to go, and I may need to buy extra strength earplugs and dark sunglasses to block out my surroundings so I can pretend I'm in a Corona commercial, but I'm going to look at the bright side of things (literally) and enjoy myself, damn it.  Also, let's face it.  I don't HAVE to go.  I could sit here in this empty house, and cry myself to sleep while watching videos of Bubby, and bundle up in five layers of clothing each time I trek outside while my husband manages a stage on a beach in between eating mangoes and working on his tan.  (For the second time this month, mind you.  Did I mention that as I type this he's working a festival on a cruise ship in the Caribbean?  True story.)  In the end, I'm going because we want to be together, and late work schedules/loud wasted people aside, we're going to get to wake up together each morning, and walk outside (barefoot) to be greeted by palm trees and tropical flowers.  It's going to be nice, even if it's not exactly what I want or think I need right now.  And maybe in the spring when the band has some time off, we can take a nice long drive to the most boring little town we can find, turn off our phones, and take our first real vacation alone together.  A girl can dream. :)

Before I conclude this novel, I wanted to point out the pictures dotted throughout this post.  Last year, we were able to leave a couple of days early for this festival, and met some of our besties in a town about an hour away.  It was pretty awesome to get to explore outside the strange confines of all-inclusive resort land, especially the Mayan Ruins.  We took hundreds of photographs, and I thought it would be fun to include some of them in this post, as reminder to myself of how beautiful the area is.  Plus, I figured that pictures of pretty places would make my whining slightly more bearable for you guys.  Hopefully it worked!

Have any of you been to Mexico?  Do you like taking big group vacations, or do your prefer quiet trips closer to home? Anyone else have a partner in the music industry? ;)