I would be lying if I didn't preface this post by telling you that my anxiety has been at an all time high the past week-ish. I mean, everyone's anxiety is high. This is probably the most uncertain time in any of our lives, and we are being forced to live completely different lifestyles than most of us are used to living. The initial fear and stress has worn off for me though, and I honestly can't exactly pinpoint why my anxiety has been so out of control lately. I do know that I've been working out less, haven't spent as much time outside, and have been eating a lot of crap (and eating way too often). I also went from a period of several weeks where I had almost no work to being overwhelmed with work last week, and it felt kind of like a shock, especially trying to meet deadlines with my entire family here 24/7. Whatever the reason, it was really, really bad by the weekend, got better for a day or two, then started creeping in again yesterday.
I decided to sit down, take some deep breaths, and make a list of the things for which I'm grateful about quarantine. Gratitude seems to be the most effective way for me to change my headspace to positive when it's feeling dark or heavy. It turns out that I'm grateful for a whole lot right now. And since I know many of you are struggling with this whole quarantine thing as well, I thought I'd share my list, in hopes that maybe it can help.
1. I am grateful for quality time with my kids.
My kids are legit driving me crazy (I am not cut out to home school, man), but it's also really nice to be able to live more slowly, and actually have time for things like playing on their swing set together or having movie nights. We are normally a busy freaking family and are used to constantly running around from activity to activity. I'm learning to really love this slower time.
2. I am grateful for quality time with my husband.
My husband is usually gone half the year, working on the road with the band. It was incredibly scary and sad when he was furloughed, but it is has been absolutely wonderful to have him here. We are used to him missing birthdays, holidays, and a lot of special occasions, and we're also used to him usually only being home a couple of days a week this time of year. More than anything, I am grateful for our family to really be able to spend time together, for the first time ever.
3. I am grateful for our health.
I mean really, this is number 1. I am so grateful that everyone in our immediate family is in good health and that if we did get the virus, we would (hopefully) have good chances of surviving it. I am also grateful that people in my family who are high risk (especially my stepmom, who gets chemo every two weeks for cancer) do not have the virus right now.
4. I am grateful for work.
The first few weeks of this terrified me. As a blogger (or influencer, or content creator, or whatever the F we're called these days), I work as an independent contractor/freelancer. The vast majority of campaigns I'd been working on, most of which were completed except for posting them, were put on hold or canceled. And then it was dead for a few weeks, and with my husband laid off, that made me really, really worried. I'm so grateful to have work again right now, and hoping it continues.
5. I am grateful for health and essential workers.
Every time I get a letter in the mail or a shipment at my door I feel gratitude for the people who packed them, shipped them, and delivered them. Every time I go to the grocery store, I feel gratitude for the people stocking the store, cleaning the carts, checking us out. Every time one of my friends who work at hospitals tells me they have to go to work, I feel gratitude. We are all so incredibly fortunate to have these people putting themselves at risk for the rest of us. Please thank them often.
6. I am grateful for spring.
I thrive in late spring and summer when it's sunny and warm, and seeing the signs of spring popping up outside makes me so happy. I'm grateful that quarantine is happening now instead of in the winter.
7. I am grateful to be saving money.
Holy crap we were paying for a lot of kids' activities, school, etc. And while we're technically not really saving money at all because we're bringing in less money, there's something that makes being unemployed feel less scary when you're watching less money going out. (Note to self: do not resume your Starbucks habit after all of this. Talk about not saving money. Yikes.)
8. I am grateful for sleeping later.
I am not a morning person. The early morning rush was my nemesis. I am so grateful not to have to set an alarm clock - even though I technically don't really need one thanks to my son's ability to wake up before the rest of us. (I am also grateful not have to get up and make school lunches, aka my absolutely least favorite part of parenting.)
9. I am grateful for the positive effects this is having on the earth.
It is amazing to see the ways that the natural environment is benefiting from humans being quarantined. I really hope this positive impact continues now that people are seeing with their own eyes how destructive humans have been to the planet.
10. I am grateful for my privilege.
I have a house to live in. I have enough food. I have a car if I need to leave. I have a kind, loving family with whom to quarantine. I have health insurance. Honestly, being able to quarantine itself is a privilege. I recognize mine. And I am grateful to be able to find ways to help those who do not have these things.
ALSO FIND US HERE: INSTAGRAM // FACEBOOK // TWITTER // PINTEREST
FILED UNDER:
random thoughts/life
Thank you for this. I love it and needed it.
ReplyDeleteI am trying to do this same, it has be hard when you're feeling trapped but I know I'm also so lucky.
ReplyDelete