Bubby and Bean ::: Living Creatively: What Motherhood Means to Me

This post is in partnership with Snapfish.

Mother's Day is less than two weeks away (May 9th!), and I've been thinking a lot about what motherhood means to me. Since becoming a mom seven years ago, my definition of motherhood for myself has evolved as my children have gone through different stages. Experiencing motherhood myself has also allowed me to establish more of an understanding of and connection to my own mom's experiences as a mother (which have been much different than mine). And it has taught me a lot about how motherhood has many definitions that go far beyond a female with a child - something I always knew and believed, but have been able to dive into more deeply since becoming a mom.

It's been a while since I've shared these kind of personal feelings in this space, but I'm feeling a little emotional today you guys, so I'm going to let it all out. I also wanted to share with you the incredibly special Mother's Day gifts my kids and I picked out for my own mom, who over this past year, has missed a lot of my kids' lives. We are so in love with the items we customized for her (all from Snapfish), and are counting down the days until we can give them to her. (More on that in a minute, but make sure you check out Snapfish's Mother's Day section, and use code BUBBYANDBEAN for 70% OFF (!!!) all orders of $25 or more!)

My own experience as a mama and what motherhood means to me based on that has, as I mentioned above, evolved over the years.

When my kids were babies, motherhood was equal parts excitement and pure exhaustion. Everything was new and magical, and it was a love like nothing else that felt beautifully overwhelming. New motherhood was also extremely stressful. My husband had to go back on tour with the band for work only a week after both of my babies were born, so (especially with my daughter who was my first), there was a lot of learning I had to do on my own. It took me a long time to overcome the anxiety of being completely responsible for someone else's life and fear that I was messing something up. And when I finally started to feel like I had a grasp on that, we had a huge curve ball thrown at us when my son was 7 months old and was diagnosed with an extremely dangerous, rare form of epilepsy. That experience taught me not only how complicated and fragile motherhood can be, but how to let go of insignificant worries and instead focus on the parts of having the parent-child bond that actually matter. This resulted in a profound appreciation for my motherhood that I've carried with me since.

As my little ones grew into toddlers, my motherhood experience began to change. As I got the hang of it (and got more sleep), the bonds of friendship with my babes blossomed, and the act of nurturing became less frantic and, albeit still with its fair share of anxiety, more natural for me. Motherhood in general became more natural for me.

Today, I have a 5 and 7 year old. Both are in school and activities and have establish friendships of their own. And while I'm still in the early stages of motherhood, it's so much different than it was when they were really little. I miss the baby snuggles and breastfeeding sessions everyday, but watching your babies grow into themselves and seeing their unique, wild, wonderful personalities develop is the most intensely beautiful thing. This also means they now talk back, fight with each other, and test our patience on the daily. But it's a period of motherhood that might just be my favorite so far. There is nothing in the world I love more than being their mom.

Looking at my mom's experiences with motherhood has been a huge part of learning what motherhood means to me as well. Our experiences have been incredibly different. My mom had me at 25; I was 39 when I had my first. She had my sister (and only sibling) over 5 years after she had me; my kids are only 2 years apart. My mom was a stay at home mama; I work full time. My dad worked a 9-5 job and was only home to help on nights and weekends; my husband's job keeps him away for large periods of time then home for bulk chunks. Comparing these differences has really helped me to see how there simply isn't one way to be a mother or a right or wrong way to parent. I look back fondly at my childhood with the most incredible memories, and hope that my kids will as well. One thing that my mom and I share, that my friends who are mothers also share, is a deep desire to give our children the best lives we possibly can, to nurture them, to guide them, and to be continue to be there for them as they grow into their own independence.

I have also gained a new level of appreciation for my mom since becoming one myself. I understand her better, I looked to her for advice and guidance, and I completely relish in her relationship with my kids. Grandmotherhood is motherhood too, and it's pretty special. When the world changed last year and my kids could no longer hug her or have sleepovers or spend days at her house, it hit all of us (and it did countless others) very hard. And that is why I really wanted to find a Mother's Day gift this year that would represent this lost time and make my mom feel like she hadn't missed out. My daughter and I went to the Mother's Day gift section on Snapfish and found the perfect gift: a gorgeous hardcover flat lay style Mother's Day photo book that we customized in my mom's favorite colors. It only took us minutes to make (I just uploaded photos from my camera roll and chose auto-arrange), and I can't put into words how beautiful it is in person. (I ended up ordering one for my mama-in-law too!) We also ordered a fun customized Mother's Day mug with photos of the kids, and a beautiful customized Mother's Day card. We cannot wait to give these special gifts to her on Mother's Day.

Realizing that motherhood has many definitions has been crucial to my own growth as a mom. I have never only defined "mother" as a woman who births or adopts a child, but the older I get, the more I realize just how many things the word "mother" encompasses. Females with children are absolutely moms - but so are those who have stepchildren, pets who are also their kids, babies in spirit, babies to whom they've had to say goodbye, friends or other humans they nurture, dads who are also moms... The list goes on. The traditional definition of Mother's Day can cause it to feel like a holiday of exclusion, when it should be just the opposite. I firmly believe Mother's Day should be about celebrating all of us who care for and nurture others! We all deserve this special day of recognition.

(Yet another thing I love about Snapfish is that they have Mother's Day gift ideas that genuinely work for every definition of the word "mother," and so many of them are completely customizable!)

Thank you for letting me get up close and personal with you guys today. So many deep thoughts, Melissa! In all seriousness though, no matter what motherhood means to you, or what kind of mother figure you have in your life, I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day. Moms of all types and definitions deserve to be celebrated, and if you want to make that celebration extra special, I can't recommend gifts from Snapfish highly enough. Head over to their Mother's Day Gift section today (there is still plenty of time to get your gift by Mother's day!) and check out all of the awesomeness they have to offer. And be sure to use code BUBBYANDBEAN for 70% OFF your order of $25 or more! (That's huge!)